a rambling

what is it all for?
for growth and purpose..
for experience...
to know what it is to hate
and love simultaneously
that we could call it lovate.
but why call it anything at all?
I stare at people and want to stab them
in the black part of their eye
and when they speak I picture ripping off their lips
and shoving it in their asshole, because I feel
that they are just talking out of their asses.
Politics. The feeling of know what is really going on
and seeing how it's really happening...
and the feeling of wanting to crush everything and
blow things up so that nothing can ever happen.
I see it all.
I can't say anything anymore, because there are no words.
If I could remain silent forever, I would.
And I could twist in my own hatred and passion
until it spews out in the form of creativity
so that everything is painted.
So that everything is broken
Crushed into various art forms
and then I can love it again because it can be beautiful.
All of this ugliness can be beautiful once I destroy it.
Do you know what it's all for?
Do you know why you do the things you do?
I ask myself.
It's all for experience I say.
For growth.
Because I would be nothing without this ride...
Without the knowing of what it is to feel every single emotion.
And then feel nothing.
And hate it.
And wish I could die.
But not because I want to die, not because I hate life, but because after a while
everything is the same.
And nothing really matters anyway.


- end.